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Honestly, I don't even know why I'm sitting here right now. I'm exhausted. It's 12:33 am, I've just finished Core Cardio and Balance, calmed down a hysterical toddler and finally taken a shower.  So really, I should be in bed dreaming peacefully of the zombie apocalypse. That seems to be the only thing I can dream about these days. Not in a good way. Maybe I'm too paranoid and anxious in my every day life and that's how it's manifesting? I don't know. ANYWAY MOVING ON.

Over the last week it has come to my attention that I have absolutely no will power.  And that I lose motivation really fast.  I'm actually pretty suprised with myself that it's taken this long to tank.  Fear not, friends. I'm still chugging along with my Insanity, but school ending, being sick, Fathers Day, etc has really thrown me off my game!  I missed 4 workouts. Not just any workouts. MAX workouts. Ugh.  So not only am I trying to jump back in and stay motivated and keep on truckin, I have to do it doing the hardest workouts in the program.  The thing is is that they're really not that hard. I can do most of the moves, but as I think I mentioned in a previous post, that 1/2 hr mark hits and I'm exhausted and dripping sweat and I look at the timer on the screen and it says I have 25-30 minutes left. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Ok...just keep going."  I believe I've said this phrase a lot (plus or minus a few swear words) in the last couple of weeks.  I think it was last Friday and I was doing Max Interval Circut and I swear I sobbed the last 10 minutes of the exercise. Sobbed.  I was so tired. My muscles were so fatigued.  It was late at night. It all came together and I lost it.  I cried during my pushups, I cried doing plank work, I sobbed through the last stretches. I was a HOT MESS.  I cried for a good 5 minutes afterwards too.  I know that a lot of it is because I was so tired, but exercise is a great stress reliever. By the time I was done crying, I realized how much better I felt and how letting go and just crying and working and sweating and swearing totally relieved my stress. For that day:)


Anyway, as I have done these last couple of workouts, trying desperately to catch up and get back into it, I've realized that I actually missed it. I, me, myself...missed working out.  Um, where's Liz and what have I done with her? I have transformed my former, lazy, self-loathing self into a more efficient, hard working, self-loving powerhouse.  Giggity.  So, to get myself back into it FULL SWING, I have compiled a few little lists/rules to print out and follow everyday. They are as follows:

Foods Banned From my House:

Spicy Buffalo Wing flavored pretzel bits from Snyders of Hanover--->death of me
Mac n Cheese--->Disclaimer: I cannot be blamed for eating a bite of the kids'
Fun sized ANYTHING-->Hersheys...you complete me
Soda--->death trap in a can..yet so...so delicious.

Good Motivators

Your happiness does not come from a number on a scale (still working on this one)

Don't complain about all of your clothes being too big...at least they're not all too small!!

As long as you keep pushing play and pushing through, you've succeeded

People love you for you, not your body. And if they do love you for your body, they don't really love you. (Fickle friends love fickle things)

Food is awesome, but don't let it become your master.

Friends, if I can do this, so can you. Find something you love and do it!  Change your world, change yourself if you aren't happy. I did, and I did it in a way that I never thought would appeal to me.  More importantly, love yourself.  Life happens. Live your life! Earn your life! Enjoy your life! 

12 workouts left. Bring it.