"Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. Hard it what makes it great."
I found that quote on Pinterest the other day and I can't stop thinking about it. What I'm doing is hard. It is hard to change how you've thought about yourself and your life and your relationship with food. It is a demon I've had to fight these last few months.
I met up with a great group of girls last night for the end of a little competition we were having. It was a "Biggest Loser-esque" friendly competition among friends. Who ever did the "best" won the pot as we all put in 5 bucks. I came in 3rd so at least I can say that I broke even:) That's beside the point. We ALL worked our butts off...almost literally. We all accomplished something we wouldn't have if we'd sat on the couch eating bon bons. (I might have to add that to my bucket list...anyone know where I can get some Bon Bons?) We went around the table to share what we'd learned or how we did what we did the last 8 weeks or so. When it was my turn, I think I kind of had a hard time expressing what I wanted to say. I basically said that I've learned that this has to become a complete lifestyle change. I've had to change the way I think about food and how it makes me feel. I've had to make my workouts an important part of my day. I said how it doesn't feel like a chore and that I actually DON'T hate exercising (even as much as I say that I hate INSANITY workouts, I don't.) I have a massive love/hate relationship with them. I told one friend that the thing I love about Insanity is that yeah, the work outs are really hard, but it's nothing that you cannot do. Your body is able to do every single one of these work outs. They're not asking you to hike Mt Everest or Tom Cruise the side of a sky scraper. It's YOU using YOUR body to CHANGE your body. It's strength and cardio all mixed together so you don't even realize what you're doing to your body until its done. I've had mornings where I've woken up and said..."Um...I didn't even know I had that muscle."
That's another thing I've noticed. I can tell that my muscles are starting to define. I feel lighter. I can do things SO much easier than before. My stamina has really increased and my fit test results are getting better and better! I still have terrible, "poor me" days. Everyone does so I'm not really that special. What is special is that I can do it. I can do it. Fitness has never, ever, never ever been a part of my life unless it was forced in school. I realized that after I had Joseph and starting losing weight, I NEVER wanted to go back to how terrible I felt everyday. How depressed I would get trying on clothes. How disgusting I felt even after eating a healthy dinner. That is TOTALLY backwards and screwed up.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you all that I don't care about looking good. It's natural. I do want to feel attractive and pretty and I do want to keep this self confidence. I told a different friend last night that really the #1 driving factor through all of this is my health. I want to be healthy. I want to make good choices and teach by example. I do not want my kids to ever have to worry about obesity. And I definitely do not ever want my kids or family to worry about my health because I never did anything to combat illnesses related to being over weight.
My point is, MAKE IT PART OF YOUR LIFE. I got home at 10:45 last night after our get together. Yuck. 10:45? No thanks. So you know what I did? I got my damn work out clothes on and pressed play. I did the hardest hour long work out I've ever done. Wanna know why? Because I finally matter. Because it's hard and it's important and that's what makes it great.
No comments:
Post a Comment